A few years back I was studying at the Central Metropolitan College of Technical And Further Education, more commonly know as CMC TAFE. One of the classes we were forced to take was one teaching us how to write business letters and newspaper articles and stuff like that. I don't know what that had to do with Information Technology, but that's the way TAFE operates. In any case, we had to write an article for some fictional TAFE newsleter. My effort received excellent marks, the teacher said I should get a job on radio. I present the article here for your general edification.

Welcome to the first in a series of articles of general interest to CMC TAFE students. Over the next few months I hope to bring you the latest in news and views from the student body, along with witty and intelligent commentaries on the issues that matter to YOU. Send all complaints to the editor.

I am a computing student at Perth Campus, but more than that I refuse to say. My powerful writing style and grim determination to discover the truth is sure to earn me many enemies. It is far safer to hide behind a screen of anonymity.

So whatís on this week at CMC. A "Bizarre Bazaar" is on in the Cafeteria courtyard of Perth Campus on the 9th. I have no idea what a Bizarre Bazaar may be, so check it out. A sausage sizzle is also scheduled for the same place some time this week. I donít know anything about costs, and no one I ask will tell me. The third meeting of I.T. Student group representatives takes place in room S219 next Tuesday. To the best of my knowledge my group hasnít even elected a rep yet! Thereís a book sale on somewhere, sometime, but I donít really have the details. Now with that behind us, onto my issue for this week.

Recently a number of people have commented to me on the general low tone of the graffiti scribbled on our toilet walls. During a recent bout of gastroenteritis I had an opportunity to investigate this and was shocked by my discoveries. Where are the insightful comments and clever witticisms of yesteryear? Iím sure student graffiti used to be better than this.

The "Toilet Tracings" found around Perth Campus seem to fall into 5 general categories.

Naturally I can only comment on the male toilets. The few attempts I made to gather data on the female facilities were met with icy stares or threats of damage to various parts of my anatomy. Perhaps this severe lack of inspiration affects only the male students, but without more information it is impossible to say.

Why should this be so? Is student activism dead? Maybe a constant diet of TV sex and violence has dulled the creative urge. Perhaps student newspapers have given students the outlet they need to express their views without needing to resort to pen on the washroom tile. It is noteworthy that the view expressed in the graffiti are mainly racist or sexist. These are currently as unpopular as the anti-war and anti-establishment views that found their way into student toilets in the 70s. Is bathroom graffiti perpetually doomed to portray the unfashionable underbelly of society?

Whatever the reason the situation needs to change. We either need to eliminate washroom graffiti all together or ensure a lifting of class. What is the solution? Iím sure I donít know. Send your suggestions to the editor who will either pass them on to me, or more likely throw them in the bin. Alternatively write them in your nearest toilet stall and Iím sure to see them sometime.

Well, thatís my say for this week. Send comments, fan mail and threats of litigation to the editor, who is certain to pass the last ones at least onto me. Next week Iíll be handling the contentious issue of cafeteria food. Why is it always cold and tasteless?

This Article is ©Copyright Denys the Purple Wyrm 1996-2004