Once upon a Thursday evening, I was waiting, bored and seething,
Watching JAG and balancing a heavy book upon my lap,
For I could not stand to witness such a show so bland and witless,
When I knew when it was over Stargate would be coming back,
Seven days I had been waiting for some Stargate to come back,
To see Daniel, Sam and Jack,

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the warm November,
And each separate JAG cast member proved that they just could not act,
Angrily I wished it finished, but the time would not diminish,
And the hands upon the clock seemed to spin backwards where it sat,
The hands upon the cheap and plastic timepiece where it sat,
Ticking softly pitter-pat,

And the soft metallic squeaking of the dusty blind venetian
Thrilled me - filled me with impatience till my mood was truly black,
Then it was I heard a tapping (not Amanda) but a rapping,
As of someone gently rapping on the door into the flat,
The heavy wooden door that guarded entry to the flat,
Where to watch TV I sat,

Fire from my eyes went flashing, I prepared a verbal lashing,
For the person so intrusive to come bothering me at,
The time I was preparing to watch Stargate, fairly glaring,
I lept up and raced on over to the door into the flat,
The heavy wooden door that I threw open from the flat,
Nothing there but darkness black,

Deep into that darkness staring, long I stood there little caring,
I was missing adds for movies coming soon like "Mars Attacks!',
But the darkness was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was a 'Huh?' that echoed back,
This I uttered, and an echo murmured 'Huh?' right at me back,
Back into my chair I sat,

Back to the TV turning, puzzlement within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping, getting louder too at that,
"Surely," said I, "that is something at my window lattice,
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and to waiting thus get back,
I'll find out what the noise is and to waiting soon get back,
'Tis the wind I'm sure of that."

Here I pulled up the venetian and into the room came leaping,
Through the window such a figure! I was startled and fell back,
Old fatigues the thing was wearing and upon it's head was bearing,
Nothing but an SGC flash stenciled bold upon a cap,
A clearly homemade SGC flash stenciled on a baseball cap,
It stared at me and I stared back,

Faced with such an apparition, I was moved to make petition,
To discover what this flipping loon was doing in my flat,
"With thy clothes so badly suited, thou," I said "art surely stupid,
strangely dressed and ill reputed bursting in on me like that!
Tell me what thy thinks thy game is bursting into here like that?"
Quoth the Shipper "Sam and Jack"

Then methought the air grew thicker, perfumed by a scent of nishta,
Sprayed by Setesh Guards whose footfalls clanked outside and 'round the back,
"Wretch!" I cried "Whoever told thee, this delusion that does hold thee,
There is clearly nothing to it and you have to realise that!
Jack has Sarah, Sam has Nareem or Matouf and that is that!"
Quoth the Shipper "Sam and Jack"

I cried "Shipper I dispute this! Any fool could soon refute this!
The show itself disproves this! You must admit the facts,
In 'Enigma', 'Solitudes' there is surely enough proof!
Jack called out loud for Sarah, Sam gave to Nareem her cat,
When he was dying he called 'Sarah' and Sam gave up her pet cat!"
Quoth the Shipper "Sam and Jack"

"Be those words our sign in parting horrid fiend!" I shrieked upstarting
"Get thee back onto your mailing lists and mindless IR Chat!
Leave me nothing as a token of the lie that thou hath spoken!
Leave my ignorance unbroken! - Get thyself from out my flat!
Take these thoughts from out my head, and take thy form from out my flat!"
Quoth the Shipper "Sam and Jack."

And the Shipper, never waning, still is watching, still is waiting,
As I watch "Divide and Conquer", waiting for the moment that,
Sam and Jack admit their feelings and I flee the TV screaming,
Freya's lie detector seeming to turn all my Thursdays black,
Freya's lie detector turning all of Stargate's stories black,
As I mutter "Sam and Jack!"


Stargate Sg-1 and its characters and concepts are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. These works are for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. These works may not be copied, reproduced, posted elsewhere, distributed, put on CD-ROM or other digital media, sold or otherwise exploited without the consent of the author. "The Shipper" ©Copyright 2001 Denys the Purple Wyrm All Rights Reserved.